Marriage, Sex, Money. Linked?

First, thank you to all my readers out there who have provided me with suggestions on what you would like me to write about. Keep them coming and I will try my best to make them as entertaining as possible.

 

 

When you think of marriage you don’t automatically think of having sex. You think of, shit Im never having sex again. Or I can’t believe Im only having sex with one person ever again. Obviously this is not completely true but there is some truth behind it. To battle the stigma of being married and not making love anymore, I asked my friends that are married about their sex life, as I am not married myself. I was astonished to here what they had to say. I am not going to share verbatim as that would just be terrible, but needless to say for the most part the fear is true!

 

In the words of Maroon 5, it really makes me wonder. What in the world happens to married couples? Before marriage, and excuse me the honeymoon, its one..two..three..four…five times a week. Now it’s down to maybe once a week. Now, Im not one to talk as I have my moments of diminished drive, but honestly isn’t there like a contract we should sign before getting married stating at least twice a week! It is absolutely ridiculous that you can say “I Do” at the alter in front all your family and friends but say “I don’t” straight to your significant other’s face. I mean it’s literally in the words at the alter! I do, the act of “doing” the very essence of the street word to make sweet sweet whoopee so many times and in as many places known to man.

 

Now all you religious types out there are rolling your eyes at me saying Im the devil and blah blah, but Im not the ministers who are out there preaching to have sex with your spouse! Read the news people, sex is good for you. It keeps you healthy, relieves stress, and gets you closer to the person you are supposed to love. God wouldn’t have put those parts on us if he didn’t want us to use them. He wouldn’t have made it so pleasurable if he didn’t want us to use them often and wisely. Key word there, wisely. Yeah, think about that.

 

I am not saying go to the nearest person you see, say hey you wanna’ have my baby, and run to the copy room. Im saying, if you have a significant other, turn the lights off, pop in a movie, giver him or her an oil back massage and do what we were meant to do!

 

That is my argument and its one that I need to follow and not be hypocritical about. We all have our stresses in life. Money, at least now is the biggest stress there is. The fact that none of us have any and our struggling to survive is the biggest stress in life. We live in a world governed by how man Benjamins you have in the bank. I have 1 Ben sitting there to my name until today, because I got paid. Now all those bills are going to pay rent, car, car insurance, food. What little is left over we keep in there so that when we want to grab something to eat instead of cooking, we can afford the dollar menu at Wendy’s. What I am saying, is, that we are all poor right now. Poor in spirit and poor in the pocket. Money stress eats away your soul leaving nothing but bits and pieces straggling, trying to reconnect itself. It takes away the very essence that is you.

 

Good news! You don’t have to let that stress win. There are so many ways to take that stress and throw it away, to make your body feel good once again, to make your soul whole. Go to the gym, it’s cheap and most apartment buildings have one. If you live in a house, do some push-ups and go running. Get those endorphins rushing through your body. It’s a natural high. Then come home say, honey I need to shower because I smell, grab him/her and walk into that bathroom for some good ol’ fashion fun. They will love the pure spontaneity of the situation and guarantee that night will not be stressful, but happy with smiles stretched across everyone’s face. Finally, pop in that movie and relax. Escape reality and get away from it all. You don’t need to be part of this world 24/7. Believe me it’s not worth it. Learn to shut down and enjoy your life at home. If you don’t like movies, pick up the next Harry Potter book or whatever authors you love, and read it.

 

Whatever it is you like to do at home to relax and enjoy yourself, do it. Just don’t forget to add some “physical activity” in your life. If that baby is crying or your dog is barking, take care of it right away, run to the outstretched arms of your other and just embrace. Stare lovingly into their eyes, not too long, and just let them have it. Believe me, you will both feel ten times better.

 

Tip of the day: Shut the hell up and enjoy life!

4 Day Work Week, Time saver? Crisis Starter?

Months ago there was the debate on whether working a 4 day work week is better then the 5 day work week. I know what we all want to say, “hell yes.” Truth of the matter is, yes in all honestly I think it is so much better. How many people do you know procrastinate all their work until the very last minute? I bet it’s around 90%. Slacker!

 

This debate can go on and on for ages but it all comes down to the money hungry power seeking ego maniacs that want the best and nothing but the best for themselves. Selfish pigs! There lies the problem. Our generation is just not that way. We are the lets work as little as possible and make the most money we can generation. Amazing philosophy but how far will it get us? Unfortunately it has gotten us a little bit of no where. That no where led to unbelievable debt and a huge rise in bankruptcies. Bankruptcies were so common that the government was caused to put even more limitations on them. Us Americans take advantage of that policy, it’s not meant as a get out of jail free card! If you are given a fresh start, damnit you better learn from your past mistakes. You have 8 years to suffer until you can file again if you don’t learn.

 

8 years? Seriously? Come on now, why are we giving people second and third and fourth chances. If you can’t figure out how to manage your money after the first time then you deserve to live on the street and beg for money. Oh and don’t come begging to me, I know the difference between you distinguished lazy asses and the real needy people. Frauds! You know you have been scammed one time or another and it sticks with you, especially when it smacks your wallet in the face.

 

Back on track here, the 4 day work week no matter how much I would love to have it, would just not work in our generation. Maybe back in the baby boomer era with all those boomers working day in and day out to support their 50 kids, but now, NO WAY! We are all extremely lazy and believe it or not, your boss knows it. You can hide all you want but your boss knows the truth but doesn’t care because your work gets done on time, for the most part. If it doesn’t then you should just quit, live at your parent’s house and be a video game tester. Then we can put a picture of you in the dictionary next to the word slacker.

 

Moral of the story, we caused this crisis. We caused this economic struggle. It is now a “we” problem we have to fix. Yes, that’s right I said WE have to fix it. Stop asking the government for money. We are like children asking mommy and daddy, who worked their asses off, for rent money because we are too lazy to work. Listen, there are jobs out there that are hiring. Suck it up, take the job that you don’t want but need, and get this economy back on track. You can stroke your ego later when this country no longer needs money from Uncle Sam because you are paying $80k worth of taxes on your $150k salary.  

 

Tip of the day: Save a dollar a day, every little bit counts. 

Little Happiness

I sit on my comfy chair pondering the events of my day and cant help but think, is this really it? Constantly in financial trouble, with the economy hitting us badly, I struggle to see the good I have in life. Am I the umtinmillionth American to want to jump off a bridge from this “economic struggle?” Struggle? Honestly? Struggle is an understatement. I struggle to get out of bed in the morning. I struggle to do my chores around the house. I struggle to get my butt off the couch and go to the gym. I don’t struggle by working long hours day after day to give it all back to the government to receive an extra $20 a month on my paycheck. They should call this the Economic Joke Era. Are we all kidding ourselves here?

With a small lick to my face I am snapped out of my ponderous daze and instantly focused on the present. Belle, my beautiful chocolate lab has completely taken over me and my girlfriend’s life. It’s strikingly funny to see the resemblance a dog has to a child and you just can’t help but wonder, do you ever want kids? We fight, we yell, we hug, we kiss, we love, we hate. It’s a constant circle of never ending love hate to love to hate you relationship. Like a normal parent I clearly tout the amazing things she does and shun the ones that make my life a living pile of poo. Although, on this day she accomplished something so extraordinary that I just had to write it down. We own a little Houdini! A 5 month old chocolate lab that has been terrorizing us for 2 months is ten times smarter then we could have ever imagined. Not only does she jump over the gate we placed in the kitchen but now, she opened her cage and waited for us by the door as we came home from food shopping. My jaw dropped as I walked through the door wondering how in the world she got out of her cage. We dropped the bags, walked to the cage, and looked. It was still locked. I just looked at my girlfriend and said, “what?” That was it. Then she peed, she cried for attention, licked my face some more, tried to eat my dinner, and slept. Overall I have to say I can’t complain. The little terror that could, may make my life a living pile of poo, but I wouldn’t trade her for the world.

So you ask what does this have to do with the economic joke era? Nothing! It has to do with life. It’s simple, learn to love what you have and you will see how happy you can be with the simplest things in life. Happiness is not always the answer, but it’s a great substitute to pass the time. Man’s best friend may not be the best choice of happiness for you, but look around, like always said before, it could be worse. You have it great, you just are too blind to see it. 

Open your eyes, look around, and take a deep breathe. 

Then say, at least I don’t have swineflu!